The Chosen One is never one of our choosing.

So Storage Wars is not fake. They don't plant items, they just edit out the boring lockers. So, it's fake.

Scared to tell wes, mom, and dad that they plant objects on Storage Wars. It'd be like telling them their psychic is fake.

Whenever I see someone type "got dam" I say which one?

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the sign of an empty desk?

Anonymity is no excuse for stupidity.

What causes me to think, makes me stronger. Should something not kill me, I'm pretty stinkin' lucky.

The Long-Snapper is the Anaestheiologist of football.

I've come to the conclusion that I have Einstein hair.

The thing about "the truth will set you free" is that it's a painful process. The truth hurts.

Do to others as you would have them do to you. Do it to them INSTEAD of yourself.

Exploitation is the most sinful act you can commit; it is the complete opposite of the second greatest commandment.

Sea level is a measure of height, not a measure of water level.

Chivalry isn't dead. I was able to put it on life support.