One man's ruined fun is another's joyful game.

"What if UFOs are actually time machines?"
Confusedus: "They are."

Chuck Norris once punched a man in the back of the face. That's why wisdom teeth hurt so bad.

Married couples have a 50% divorce rate. Unmarried couples have a 0% divorce rate. -Confusedus

Wigger is the term for white people who try (and fail) to be ghetto. Swag is the term for boys who try to be men.
-Confusedus's only comment on swag.

Whenever I hear complaining, I hear "lower your standards."

Forget men. A good pen is hard to find.