Wednesday, February 22, 2012

I prefer my revenge fresh out of the oven. That way, it tastes like foot. Serve with crow. -Confusedus

Monday, February 20, 2012

Cookie theme song for 2012: Cookie Rock Album. "Everyday I'm crumblin..."
Line of the Day: "Where are all the nice guys at?"
"The Friend Zone..."

Saturday, February 18, 2012

That moment when you've tried everything, including the State Farm jingle.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

The difference between idiocy and profundity is public opinion.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Why can't anyone in the background have a moment "alone in the crowd?" Stars and main characters are such scene hogs.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

You don't need a scuba tank for a mud puddle.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Some sailors got in trouble for anchoring too near to a riverside art gallery or painted doors.
One does not simply moor next to DoorWalk.

Monday, February 6, 2012

The more I look at society in general, the less I blame Darwin for the whole "monkey to man" thing. I can see how he thinks that.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

I can't watch that show "I Dream of Jeannie." It gives me nightmares.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

When in doubt, use an Indian accent. Then, it's at least funnier.

Friday, February 3, 2012

If you lie with dogs, odds are you probably are a dog. Fetch, stupid.